The signs according to Tumblr

aries: SO ANGRY!!! SOFUCKINGANGRY!!!!! taurus: all they do is eat gemini: fake, backstabbing hoe cancer: *crying* leo: selfish and vain virgo: crying over germs libra: balanced. get it? because they’re scales. scorpio: SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEXXX sagittarius: they just don’t care. capricorn: does tumblr even have an opinion on capricorns? aquarius: alien-obsessed freaks pisces: fish.

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How To Royally Piss Off The Zodiac Signs

Aries: Telling them to calm down, making them feel insignificant, underestimating them, bossing them around, being slow, trying to control them.

Taurus: Nagging them, saying something and then not following through, being rushed, expecting them to rearrange their schedule for yours, stealing their food.

Gemini: Ignoring them, not caring about what they have to say, lacking interest when they are discussing something profound, not letting them explain their side of things, being boring, being ignorant, distancing yourself from them.

Cancer: Being insensitive, giving them the silent treatment, rejecting their love, threatening them, criticizing them, leaving them unsure about where they stand.

Leo: Lying to them, taking them for granted, talking behind their back, embarrassing them, undermining their authority, not appreciating them.

Virgo: Touching or moving their things, interrupting them, being stuck up, making them feel unappreciated, looking through their things with out asking, giving them advice they didn’t ask for.

Libra: Pressuring them to make a decision, being disrespectful, generalizing or stereotyping anything, being unfair, making them feel inadequate, not giving them space.

Scorpio: Making them feel like a second option, giving them reasons to not trust you, dismissing their ideas, calling them out on their shit, getting in their face.

Sagittarius: Pushing them around, fucking up the second chance they gave you, exploiting them, invading their privacy, being a hypocrite.

Capricorn: Making them feel unwanted, Making them feel like their feelings are irrelevant, insulting their character, making them feel beneath you, not respecting their schedule.

Aquarius: Bringing unnecessary confrontation, not letting them do things their way, not giving them room to breathe, trying to change them, telling them their beliefs are silly.

Pisces: Making them feel like their emotions and feelings are unimportant, making them feel alone, being fake, telling them to “grow up”, manipulating them.

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Aries: They were literally named after the God of War. U ever get one mad? It’s like HULK SMASH they have no chill and they never get tired they only stop when they get bored 

Taurus: Ok they’re pretty chill and lazy eating their grass and shit, but bulls get pretty angry especially during bull-fights and when u taunt them. They will gore u and have nO SHAME

Gemini: Seemingly harmless since everything about them is fake, but they can turn EVERYONE against u even ur own mother they’re so good w people don’t mess w them

Cancer: When they get mad they retreat into their own little shell bUT THEY COME BACK A MILLION TIMES STRONGER they like get blinded by anger and lose any sense of reason

Leo: They have all the force of a great typhoon and the strength of a raging fire + they don’t do that forgive and forget bullshit they will always be looking for an opportunity to kill ur sorry ass

Virgo: Not inherently violent, but chillingly intelligent. Expect them 2 blackmail u bc they know everything about u and every trace u have left on the internet and they will let the whole world know about it #noregrets

Libra: It’s annoying. They will talk shit about u FOREVER and then ignore u, then pretend to be ur friend, then be really cold and it’s just annoying, you wish they’d kill u already but they won’t

Scorpio: Scariest assholes out there. Remember Raven from Teen Titans and how she has dark forces and basically the entire underworld on their side? That’s all u need to know

Sagittarius: They know exactly what to say to hurt u. Words don’t hurt? Really?? Get a Sagittarius mad, and they’ll bring up something u forgot about and it’ll make u cry urself to sleep for 3 days

Capricorn: They’ll get really quiet and WILL NEVER LET IT GO AND WILL mENTION it in front of other people and people will listen to them bc they’re so calm and rational 

Aquarius: Either you’ll disappear or they will. Neither scenario will leave a trace.

Pisces: Easily influenced by other’s opinions, so if someone else hates you, they probably will and they’re SO GOOOD at playing the victim, you’ll basically have no friends ever again

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Aries: It’s almost like they’re not even sick they’re their usual angry and energetic self except now they’re even more angry


Gemini: Constantly in a state of delirium from cough syrup

Cancer: Wraps themselves in tons of blankets and always eating chicken noodle soup

Leo: Falls asleep everywhere and cries a lot

Virgo: They don’t get sick their immune system is A+

Libra: Won’t shut up about how they’re sick and gets too close to people

Scorpio: They don’t get sick because viruses are afraid of them

Sagittarius: You won’t even know they’re sick until they puke or they get you sick

Capricorn: Grumpy but refuses to admit they’re sick

Aquarius: Stumbles around like a zombie

Pisces: Probably faking sick but they’re pretty damn convincing

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